You’d think it would be easy to spot when you’re about to send a very inappropriately-worded text message, wouldn’t you? For me, apparently not…
It all started a while back when I finally got around to getting in touch with a very good friend of mine, who I had been a bit lax about staying in touch with recently. She gave me the fantastic news that she was getting married later in the year, and I suggested we meet up to celebrate (and so I could vet the lucky chap). Unfortunately, family issues distracted me and I didn’t follow up. Then yesterday I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t spoken to her for a few weeks, so I resolved to get in touch in the next couple of days.
That brings us to today – a cold Monday morning. The day starts badly – the Jubilee line is down, and as a result the Bakerloo line is overcrowded so they’re not letting people onto the platforms at Baker Street. I eventually have to go via Euston and end up getting to work about half an hour later than normal. As I rush in to the office, I get a text from my friend telling me the date of the wedding – and whilst I am in mid-reply, I walk onto my floor to see my colleague on hands and knees under my desk, power cables everywhere, and not looking happy. Must be another power failure or something – a bad start to the morning looks to be getting worse, so I hurriedly finish my text, basically saying I’ll email her shortly, and get on the floor to help out.
Ten minutes later everything is sorted, and I’m waiting for my laptop to boot up – I’m still a little distracted by the power cables, though. My phone rings.
Me: “Hiya, what’s up?”
Colleague: “Morning. Can you make that design change you suggested?”
Me: “Yeah, sure. I’ll do it when I’m turned on.”
Colleague: “<snigger>”
Me: “What?”
Colleague: “<snigger> What’d you just say?”
Me: “I said I’ll do it when I’m turned on. What’s so… awww, crap, I meant when my LAPTOP is turned…” <pause> <suddenly realising why I’d just automatically used that phrase> “AWWWW, CRAP! NUTS! NOOOO! NUTS! NONONONO NO!” <buries head in hands>
Why had that phrase sprung so readily to mind? Because this is what I’d sent to my soon-to-be-married friend:
“Yay, was just thinking about you last night, will mail you when I’m turned on”
It turns out that no matter how hard you wish for it, time will not rewind to before you hit the ’send’ button on an unfortunately-phrased SMS. Believe me, I tried…
